Planning for the Disposition of Your Remains: A Kindness to Those You Love

October brings a chill in the air and plenty of lighthearted reminders of mortality — from skeletons on porches to haunted houses and ghost stories. But for families who’ve lost someone dear, there’s nothing lighthearted about the confusion that can arise when no one knows what their loved one truly wanted for their final arrangements.

At The Lansky Law Firm, we understand that conversations about end-of-life wishes can be difficult. Yet, planning ahead — even for something as sensitive as the disposition of your remains — is one of the greatest acts of love and thoughtfulness you can offer your family. It replaces uncertainty with clarity, and anxiety with peace.

Why Planning Your Final Arrangements Matters

When someone passes away without clear instructions, family members are often left asking, “What would they have wanted?” This uncertainty can lead to painful disagreements and delays in making funeral or cremation arrangements.

In Tennessee, as in many states, the law provides a hierarchy for who has the authority to make those decisions — typically a spouse, then adult children, parents, or other relatives. If family members disagree, it can lead to conflict during an already emotional and stressful time.

By documenting your wishes in advance, you give your loved ones a tremendous gift: the comfort of knowing they’re honoring your intentions, and the freedom to focus on supporting one another.

How to Document Your Wishes

1. Disposition of Remains Document

This document provides clear, legally recognized guidance for what you want to happen after your passing. It can include:

• Your preference for burial, cremation, or donation of your body.

• The type of service you’d like — religious, secular, or a celebration of life.

• Any music, readings, or memorial donations that reflect your personality and beliefs.

Having your wishes in a formal, written declaration ensures your family has clear direction — removing doubt and avoiding unnecessary conflict.

2. Health Care Directive or Living Will

While these documents are primarily used to outline end-of-life medical decisions, some also include preferences for organ donation or body donation to science. These can complement your disposition document but should not replace it. Keeping your post-death instructions in a separate declaration ensures your family can access them promptly.

3. Will or Trust

It’s common to include funeral or memorial wishes in a will — but wills are often reviewed only after funeral services have already taken place. That’s why it’s best to keep these details in a separate declaration of remains or letter, so your family knows your wishes right away.

4. Letter of Instruction

Though not legally binding, this type of informal letter can be deeply meaningful. It allows you to share personal details that reflect your spirit — favorite songs, readings, or even lighthearted requests such as “play my favorite Elvis tune at the reception.” These touches help your loved ones celebrate a life well-lived in a way that feels authentically you.

When to Start the Conversation

Halloween might seem like an unusual time to discuss these topics, but it can actually be the perfect opportunity. The season naturally brings moments of reflection — a time to think about family, memory, and legacy. A simple, lighthearted comment about the “spooky season” can open the door to an important conversation about what truly matters to you.

You don’t need to decide every detail right away. Start with the basics — burial or cremation, the type of service, and any cultural or religious preferences. You can always adjust your plans later as your feelings or circumstances change.

The Kindest Gift You Can Give

Making your final wishes clear is not morbid — it’s an act of compassion. It spares your family from difficult guesswork during an emotional time and ensures that your life is honored in the way you intended.

At The Lansky Law Firm, we help Tennessee families create complete, legally sound estate plans — from wills and trusts to advance directives and disposition of remains documents. Our goal is to guide you through each decision with care, clarity, and compassion — so your loved ones are protected and your legacy is preserved.

Peace of Mind through Preparation.

Visit Us: 6800 Poplar Ave #225, Memphis, TN 38138

Call Us: (901) 767-7006

Learn More: www.lanskylawfirm.com