Facing the Unthinkable: What to Do After the Sudden Loss of a Loved One

Losing someone you love unexpectedly is one of life’s most devastating experiences. In the wake of such a profound loss, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed by a storm of emotions—grief, confusion, disbelief, and even fear. While no guide can fully prepare you for the emotional toll of such a loss, understanding the immediate next steps can provide a bit of stability during a time that feels anything but steady.

Here’s a gentle guide to help you navigate the practical necessities in those early days.

1. Obtain the Death Certificate 

One of the first things you’ll need is an official death certificate. This document acts as the legal confirmation of your loved one’s passing and will be required by banks, insurance companies, government agencies, and other institutions. It's wise to order multiple certified copies—each organization you deal with may require their own.

If your loved one had a will, this document—along with the death certificate—is usually required to begin the probate process in most states. Without these, you’ll be unable to move forward with many of the important legal and administrative tasks.

2. Inform Close Family, Friends, and Employers 

Although it may feel emotionally exhausting, contacting immediate family, close friends, and your loved one’s employer should be done as soon as you are able. Sharing the news personally can help reduce confusion and provide a sense of community and support in those first days.

If your loved one was working, notifying their employer will allow final paychecks and benefits to be processed and help the workplace manage responsibilities. You might also consider posting a notice on social media—either on your account or theirs if you have access—as a way to reach others who may want to pay their respects.

3. Make or Locate Funeral and Memorial Plans 

If your loved one had made pre-arrangements for their funeral, burial, or cremation, try to locate those documents or contact the funeral home directly. Sometimes, these wishes are stored in a safe place, shared with a family member, or filed with an attorney.

In the absence of clear instructions, family members will need to decide how to best honor their memory. You may also be eligible for assistance from organizations like the Veterans Administration or religious or fraternal groups.

These ceremonies are not just formalities—they provide a sacred space for family and friends to come together, share memories, and begin the process of healing.

4. Protect Their Property and Belongings 

Securing your loved one’s home and possessions is an often-overlooked but important task. Unfortunately, there are individuals who watch obituaries for opportunities to break into unoccupied homes. If necessary, change the locks, secure valuables, and consider installing a temporary security system.

You’ll also want to forward their mail to a responsible party to prevent mail theft and ensure bills or legal notices are not missed. If pets are left behind, make arrangements for their immediate care.

5. Locate the Will or Estate Plan 

If your loved one prepared a will or had an estate plan, now is the time to locate it. You may need to contact their attorney or check through secure storage spots like safes, lockboxes, or desk files. This will guide the next steps in settling their estate.

If there is no will, your state’s laws will determine how their assets are distributed. While this process—called intestate succession—still functions legally, it may not reflect the wishes your loved one would have wanted.

This is why estate planning is such a powerful gift. Creating a plan in advance provides clarity, reduces stress for loved ones, and ensures that your personal values and desires are honored.

A Final Thought: You’re Not Alone 

There’s no easy path through grief, especially when loss comes without warning. But you are not expected to carry the weight alone. Lean on your support system, ask for help, and don’t hesitate to reach out to professionals—both legal and emotional—for guidance.

If you haven’t yet created an estate plan yourself, consider using this moment as a turning point. Taking care of these details now is not just about protecting your assets—it’s about protecting the people you love most when they’ll need it the most.

The Lansky Law Firm

6800 Poplar Ave #225, Memphis, TN 38138

(901) 767-7006 

Peace of Mind through Preparation